Xiao Kai (pseudonym), a 35-year-old man from Shandong, China, felt distant from his adoptive family, so he embarked on a quest to find his biological roots at the age of 15. Over the course of 20 years, Xiao Kai stumbled along his journey to find his family. After a failed DNA test with a woman searching for her son, they still regarded each other as mother and son. Xiao Kai also volunteered to help other people searching for their families. In the end, his perseverance paid off, as he found his biological father in Hequ County, Shanxi Province. To his surprise, he discovered that his father had been his WeChat friend all along and had even visited his livestream to encourage him. However, due to their vastly different appearances, they had missed recognizing each other at the time.
Xiao Kai’s biological father was not expressive, but he repeatedly expressed his remorse to Xiao Kai, saying, “If I had known you suffered so much, I wouldn’t have let you go even if I had to beg for food.” On March 31st, Xiao Kai will reunite with his father, brother, and sister.
Shandong Man Searches for Family for 20 Years Based on Vague Memories
Xiao Kai, a 35-year-old man from Shandong, had vague memories of his childhood. He remembered living with different families at the ages of 2 and 5. Despite these fuzzy memories, he always knew he wasn’t the biological child of his current family.
Xiao Kai recalled feeling like an outsider in his adoptive family. His adoptive father was over 40 years older than him, and during parent-teacher meetings, his friends’ parents referred to his adoptive father as “uncle.” When he had conflicts with his friends, they would sometimes call him “wild child.”
Xiao Kai wanted to integrate into his family but couldn’t. He had two older sisters in his adoptive family who were educated and disagreed with their father’s decision to adopt him. Despite their politeness, there was a lack of familial intimacy between them.
At the age of 15, Xiao Kai dropped out of school to work and vowed to find his roots. Besides knowing he wasn’t biologically related to his family, he had no other information to go on. His vague childhood memories were of no help in his search for his family.
March 14th was the most exciting day of Xiao Kai’s life, but it ended with him falling ill due to overwhelming emotions. He finally had results after 20 years of searching—he found his family in Hequ County, Shanxi Province.
Xiao Kai didn’t have any technical skills at the time and could only do odd jobs at construction sites. In his spare time, he tirelessly searched for any clues. After years of hard work, he now has his own business in Hohhot, Inner Mongolia, and has a family of his own. However, he never gave up on finding his family.
In 2023, Xiao Kai met a woman named Zhang from Shanxi who was searching for her son. He noticed similarities between his childhood photos and Zhang’s son’s photos. They decided to do a DNA test, which unfortunately failed to establish a connection. Despite this, they continued to bond, and Xiao Kai began calling Zhang “Mom.”
Encouraged by Zhang, Xiao Kai posted videos online hoping his family would see them. Finally, with the help of police and ancestral analysis technology, Xiao Kai traced his possible origins to Hequ County, Shanxi Province, in 2023. He compiled a list of over 20 people.
From late 2023 to early 2024, Xiao Kai contacted each person on the list and conducted DNA tests, hoping to find his relatives. All but the last person on the list failed the DNA test, leaving Xiao Kai feeling lost once again.
After the Chinese New Year, as other people searched for their families in Hequ County, Xiao Kai volunteered to help. He stayed in Hequ until nearly the fifteenth day of the first lunar month before returning to Hohhot to resume his business.
As he was leaving, a woman who had been helping him in Hequ reminded him that the DNA test for the last person on the list had not been completed yet, urging him not to lose hope. On March 14th, Xiao Kai was too busy to check his phone until the woman told him that the DNA test for the last person had succeeded.
“At that moment, I couldn’t believe it. I checked the comparison software I purchased myself and found that it was indeed a successful match,” Xiao Kai said. He called the police officer who helped him with the test and received confirmation. Overwhelmed with emotions, he ran around the store several times.
On March 17th, the review results officially confirmed that he was biologically related to the last person on the list. It was only then that Xiao Kai realized he had already added his father on WeChat months ago when they communicated about the blood collection. In their chat history, his father never doubted Xiao Kai’s suggestion to collect blood and fully cooperated, expressing, “I also miss my son.”
Their connection went beyond mere coincidence. Months ago, his father had watched Xiao Kai’s livestream but didn’t recognize him due to their different appearances. Xiao Kai recalled his father mentioning he had a son around Xiao Kai’s age and even encouraged Xiao Kai to reach out to him. It turned out that their relative was much closer than they had realized. Xiao Kai shared the good news with “Mom” Zhang.
After reuniting with his father, Xiao Kai learned that his original surname was Miao. Born at the end of 1988, he was sent for adoption due to his family’s poverty. He ended up in the household in Jining, Shandong, and was separated from his biological family. He also has an older brother who left home at the age of 22 after an argument with his father and hasn’t been heard from since. Additionally, he has twin younger siblings, but their mother has passed away.
Xiao Kai’s brother revealed that their mother passed away when he was young due to an accident, and their father raised them alone without remarrying. He never mentioned Xiao Kai until the DNA test confirmed their relationship. After learning about their long-lost brother, Xiao Kai’s brother and sister have been in regular contact with him, discussing family matters.
Xiao Kai laughed, saying, “Although we haven’t seen each other in over thirty years, there’s no sense of distance, especially with my sister. She calls just to ask what I’m up to.” This closeness makes him feel comfortable. Compared to his siblings, his father is more reserved. “He always has to find a reason to call me. He would say he didn’t receive my call last night, although I didn’t call, I’m willing to cooperate,” Xiao Kai said.
On March 26th, Xiao Kai met his brother in Hequ County. On March 31st, the official day of reunion planned by the family, they hope to pay tribute to their mother together.